Archives for posts with tag: self-help
Photo by Rick Harris.

Photo by Rick Harris.

“… I’m afraid a boat

so small would sink

with the weight

of all my sorrow.”

Li Qingzhao, “Spring at Wu-Ling”

Sometimes we must walk through life as solitary creatures. We may have companions, but, in essence, we are born alone, and die alone… with the exception of the Divine, if you believe in such.

This week just past was one of those times. A cherished friend passed away unexpectedly last Monday evening or Tuesday morning. Funny my choice of topic last time. One could almost infer I knew something was about to happen, but I did not. Maybe it would have been easier if I had.

Chi was always by my side, for he could feel things were “off” somehow, and would curl up on the back of the sofa by my head, or at my side, or somewhere nearby. Even so, this was one of those journeys I felt I had to take alone.

Loss is never easy. In this case it was an invitation to look deeply into the things that make life tick. Friends, small pleasures, moments caught in shards of glass within time. And it was a good chance to practice the Lessons of Chi. I took many walks along shaded, tree-lined parks and sidewalks. I wrote love letters. I sat and reflected on my friend and the ephemeral, fragile nature of this life we lead. I prayed; I cried; I spoke with this one who had finally moved beyond the veil. I played sad songs – mostly for me, not for my friend. I shared many hugs with other friends and acquaintances doing much the same thing. We spoke about our friend and realized, as we shared, that maybe we were all linked more closely than we realized. Complete strangers came to share their thoughts, love, prayers, and energy.

As we walked through the process together, we realized our small boats were, in reality, not so small. There are a lot of boats out there, all sinking under the weight of so much grief. And yet, if you join boats, the boat gets progressively larger and more buoyant.

This event of loss became something much larger, and more life-affirming. We all have this chance to pilot our ship, be it a rowboat, a canoe, a yacht, a cruise liner, or speedboat. It’s up to each of us to make it count.

I am grateful for all who reached out in ways large or small. I am grateful to be sharing this experience of life with each of you. Let us choose to enjoy this grand tour, wherever it leads.

Advertisements

Take good care of my… baby….

There’s a lot of taking care of a dog, you can bet on that. Exercise. Grooming. Bling. Vaccinations. Dental work. Toys. bones. Special toys when the dog won’t play with the toys he’s already got. (Don’t judge.)

And yet, there are so many more moments when we take care of our pets.  Think about it a little while.

There’s the time Chi stepped on a piece of gravel. He stopped, plopped down on the ground, and cried until we stopped and plucked it out. And who can forget the cross country trip with Chi in the back of the car? He’d sit, cry softly despite the low-grade tranquilizer we’d give him.. and then howl as if he’d been stabbed when we had to stop and go inside the convenience store to use the restroom. So intense was his fear of separation that we had to take turns sitting and soothing Chi while we were doing even simple things while travelling. This went on for a very long time… although fortunately for all of us, he’s getting to be an old pro in the car now.

We could go on and on with these stories, large and small, about how we take care of our pets. There’s another way still we can look at taking care. We can look at how our pets take care of us.

If I allowed Chi to tell this story he’d talk about how I sometimes come home tired, overworked and overemotional about some silly thing which happened through the course of my day. He’d tell about trying to get me to stop — just stop. Mommy, lie down and smell the dandelions for a while. He tries to get me to pet him. Petting him calms me down. And there is always the best thing of all — I can give him treats! He swears it makes me feel better, but I’m not so sure about that one.

In the morning, Chi is my litmus test for the morning. If I’m tired, he’ll try to burrow me in and trap me under the covers. If I greet the day with a smile and gratitude, he wants to play. I always do feel great when I take that extra moment to play with him. And then we have the “conversation”. I’ve mentioned this conversation before, and I am sure I’ll mention it again. “Mommy has to go to work now.” Chi is always displeased with this, even when I remind him I do it to be able to get him more doggy bling.

It’s a dog’s world, after all. Dogs can be pretty smart about teaching us how to take care of ourselves. How do your pets take care of you?

Thanks to the Daily Prompt for the inspiration.

 

chicloseup2